It has taken me a lot of deliberation to put this up because it is something I have not resolved yet. I think, though, that it is good to talk about it. So I am. This is a prayer I wrote one day trying to understand a complex and controversial topic. It is not as well written or formulated as most of my pieces but I think it suits the messiness of these thoughts and conflicting feelings.
Let me question this for awhile
Let me ask you why once again
I read it, it looks so clear, but how much does context change it?
Let me wonder for awhile
Far from Bible thumping and these loud obnoxious preachers
In the safety of just you and I
Please tell, please tell me why
It's written there?
How can I show my face
When other's who have known you have shot out so much hate
Did we take your word as just an excuse to protect against our fears
What we don't know or understand let's hate until it disappears
I think, from what I know
You hate that sort of thing
The Jesus I know, maybe I'm wrong
Would eat with them
So I want to know why you wrote those ancient words
Knowing now, what kind of hate they would incur
I want to know where is the line between wrath and love and how can I find it?
From what I know you are grieved by those who drive people from you
Why is the church the last place, many go to find love?
I am confused! Why is there this fear?
To get a little dirt on our hands
Why this fear to hear a different story
and try to understand?
If I were lesbian I know he would love me
He would walk by my side unashamed
But how could I know that now?
If I were just shown that he hates me?
Because they don't want to get to know me
How do you bear your heart oh God
When your love is concealed oh so coldly
How do you take these foul lumps of clay and touch them with your good pure hands
I can't understand
How you bear to stare
At us condemners every day
Why wont you just tell us how you feel about what you say?
About being gay?
There's got to be something we missed and gone miles too far with it
I know you won't answer this until I see you face to face
But how do you actually feel about gays?
Let me question this for awhile
Let me ask you why once again
I read it, it looks so clear, but how much does context change it?
Let me wonder for awhile
Far from Bible thumping and these loud obnoxious preachers
In the safety of just you and I
Please tell, please tell me why
It's written there?
How can I show my face
When other's who have known you have shot out so much hate
Did we take your word as just an excuse to protect against our fears
What we don't know or understand let's hate until it disappears
I think, from what I know
You hate that sort of thing
The Jesus I know, maybe I'm wrong
Would eat with them
So I want to know why you wrote those ancient words
Knowing now, what kind of hate they would incur
I want to know where is the line between wrath and love and how can I find it?
From what I know you are grieved by those who drive people from you
Why is the church the last place, many go to find love?
I am confused! Why is there this fear?
To get a little dirt on our hands
Why this fear to hear a different story
and try to understand?
If I were lesbian I know he would love me
He would walk by my side unashamed
But how could I know that now?
If I were just shown that he hates me?
Because they don't want to get to know me
How do you bear your heart oh God
When your love is concealed oh so coldly
How do you take these foul lumps of clay and touch them with your good pure hands
I can't understand
How you bear to stare
At us condemners every day
Why wont you just tell us how you feel about what you say?
About being gay?
There's got to be something we missed and gone miles too far with it
I know you won't answer this until I see you face to face
But how do you actually feel about gays?